Here are some fool-proof* ways to free up your hands so that you can knit without distraction:
Outsource the house cleaning by buying a Roomba. I know what you’re thinking. A Roomba only does floors; wouldn’t a home cleaning service get more done? Yes, but Roombas don’t talk. Or kick you out of the house when you’re in the way. Remember, the end goal is distraction-free knit time in your own home. Pro tip: a Roomba is a machine that will consume anything in its path. WIPs and yarn are no exceptions, so move them to a safe place off the ground.
Get distracting people out of the house. Buy your spouse/kids/roommates a MoviePass. For just $9.95/month, holders of the pass can see one movie in a theatre per day for free. If they take full advantage of their pass, that’s approximately 3-hours a day, 21-hours a week, and 90-hours per month that you have the house to yourself. Pro tip: don’t feed them lunch before they go to their movie and they’ll have to stand in line for popcorn, factoring in an additional 30 minutes that you get to be alone and knitting.
Coffee. Because your eyes won’t stay open by themselves. We can’t stress caffeine enough. If you’re not a coffee drinker, become one. If you are already a coffee drinker, add an additional cup to your morning routine, and a cup or two in the evening. Pro tip: drinking your coffee with a straw allows you to fuel up and knit at the same time.
Work Smarter. We do not endorse calling in sick from work. Think about it: calling in sick leads to getting fired, getting fired leads to not getting a paycheck, and not getting a paycheck leads to not being able to buy yarn. Instead, pick up this speech recognition head set so you can continue to work without having to use your hands to type. Bonus points for those who drink coffee with a straw, while talking to your computer and knitting.
Don’t get injured. The only way to not fall or run into something is to sit safely on the couch. So find a comfy spot and don’t get up until December 26th.
Sleep like a genius so you can knit all night. Some of the great thinkers of our world – Dali, Einstein, and Aristotle, to name a few – have been said to forego the American Sleep Association’s recommended 8-hours of nightly sleep in exchange for minute-long power naps throughout the day. These fellas would take naps sitting in a chair with a key in their hand. Soon after dosing off, the key would drop, clang on the floor, and wake up them up. The end result, they say, was the perfect amount of shut eye….not enough to reach Stage 2 Sleep, but just enough to be re-energized physically and mentally.
Armed with these tips (and, if all else fails, a plane ticket to a wifi-less island in the Bahamas), you have a real shot at finishing your knits in time for the big gift exchange.